Surrender is the Key

Hello, my name is ______ I'm 19 years old I am fixing to turn 20 in a few weeks. Anyways, I am writing you this email to tell you what a wonderful and touching book you wrote. I SAY A PRAYER FOR ME. It's outstanding. You see while I was growing up I was molested my and older cousin when I was only 5 years old. When I got older I found a way to forget about that happen to me by using experimenting with drugs. I believe I was 12 years old when I began slow start to destruction. Then I started going to a place called _______ Drug Abuse Program it was fun. There was many kids my age and older who where trying to get off of drugs, but I thought, "Hey I just started why do I want to stop".

Soon I started to use cocaine. Then when I was 15 years old I got raped twice. Anger and bitterness filled my heart. Now I wasn't a 15 year old cocaine user, I was a 15 year old heroin user. I loved the way it felt I soon forgot about how my parents loved to help everyone out but their own daughter. I forgot the pain I felt when I asked my best friend to tell the guy who raped me to leave and she said, “No.”
Pretty soon, I was stealing just to get a fix. I dropped out of school in the beginning of my 11th grade year. I was always running away from everything.

Then in January, about this time a few months before I turned 17, I was outside of a friend’s house trying to unlock her car because she locked her keys in the car. The person who never ever talked to us came out and helped and he looked at me, not her, but me and said, "___ what are you doing with your life? You’re so young. Jesus loves you and has something great for you. Why are you messing up your life hanging around these people?"

I didn't say anything. I just stood there for a second and rolled my eyes at her. I heard a voice in my head that said, “Yeah, right. How can that be? I'm useless to this world.

Then in March of 2003, I got a wake up call. My best friend and I went to steal some DVDs but when I was done and waiting for her outside a cop followed her and said she had to come with him—and me, too! She got taken to jail and for some reason the cop just gave me a ticket and told me to go get some help for my friend. So I left in her car.

I found someone to get her out and we couldn't go back to our house so what did we do? The only thing we knew how—we ran away—again.

Finally on March 23, 2003 we said, “Enough is enough,” and went home. She dropped me off down the street from my house instead of in front. As I walked, I thought, “What do I do now?”

Then I walked to the door and before I could even lifted my arm to open it, to my surprise, my mom flung open the door and hugged me. I didn't understand why she, my dad and my brother were being so emotional about it. I’d run away many times before.

Later that night, as I walked into my room i thought I heard a voice say my name. Then I heard it again. Scared—I ran out my room. I thought it was the devil, himself, coming after me. So I walked into my room one more time and told myself that there was nothing there. But this time, I heard my name louder. I screamed and my dad came running in with a bat. He turned on the light and there was my best friend sitting behind my TV.

My father said we only had 5 minutes to talk and we decided to run away again. So that night I left my parents a note and took off down the street and waited for my best friend. Soon, I realized she wasn't coming. When I was about to get up a cop stopped me and asked what I was doing sitting alone on a street corner at 1:00 in the morning. He then said, “Go home.”

That night as I lay on my bed, I thought of how my life wasn't so great and fell asleep.

In the morning, I woke up to my mother screaming and running into my room. She kept saying, “Show me your arms. Show them to me!” Right then and there I knew that everything was about to come out.

I told my parents everything I was doing. When I saw the look on my parents faces, I could see in their eyes their hearts breaking. After I finished, I fell to my knees and cried like a newborn baby. The first person that my dad called was a lady named ____ from the ______ Drug Abuse Program in ______. She told my dad to send me to detox and she would do the rest. But before I got to detox, I had to get a blood test done to see if I had AIDS, HIV, or HEP-C. I tested positive for HEPATITUS-C. I cried the whole time, I was away in detox.

Once out of detox, I started doing my 12 step program. I felt a way I still can’t describe. Everyone loved me. Most had known me since I was 12-years-old and here I am 17 now.

Oh yeah, you are right, the people in 12-step programs do like to hug a lot. LOL. Anyways, while I was there I meant a guy named ____ who bugged me to death, but one day we sat down and really talked. He told me about Jesus and no matter how much I pushed this guy away God kept pushing him into my life. So, I surrendered.

I surrendered everything; and, in November I asked Jesus into my heart while at my Aunt’s church. I a sat there in my seat crying like i have never cried before. Actually, it was wonderful. Finally, I felt free!
Then, the blessings started to fall from heaven.

On January 7, 2004, I was healed from Hepatitus-C. Then, a few weeks after that ______ became my boyfriend. He keeps me on my toes.

I finished high school. I am now in college. _____ and I are still together. We are planning to get married in about two years. I help out in his father’s church with the children. Also, my relationship with my parents is wonderful. They aren't Christian—YET; but I am working on it.

Now, reading your book made me see me. If that makes any sense. You went down the same road as I did. You overcame the impossible. Your dreams came true and you got your books out. I bought your book about a year ago and I would pick it up read a few pages and put it back down. But this last time was different. Something just wouldn't let me put it down. My dream is to preach the Word of God to troubled youth and tell them my story. Reading your book made me see that I can do that and when the time is right, God well provide.

© 2006 anonymous-to-you-but-not-to-God.